am i raising him right?

he is about to turn 2.

in other words, ive been a mother to my son for 2years,
a parent to a child

me, a parent?!!
erkk..

approaching two means alot to me :

(i) tht he is growing up real fast
(ii)and tht i have to start reading about stimulating a 2 year old
(iii) questioning myself am i feeding him enough?
(iv) then the "am i raising him right?"
(v) yes, the constant "am i ACTUALLY raising him right??"

how does one raise a human being?
from experience is my two second answer.

meaning if we were brought up in an environment which encourages dreaming big, trying out possibilities that is how one tends to bring up its offspring...

but then again, from experience as well , a parent tends to reverse it,
for example, a mother who grew up with nothing, would then pamper the child on things she had never had...



either way, the q remains valid for both situation, how does a mother knows she is raising it right?

i am very fortunate to have parents who instill in us the importance of education and insyallah this is something i will further push for bb ash... but is this enough? is this just the way i want to raise my son, educated?

i remembered when growing up, my mother always made sure i 'salam' every guest, then during every wedding, she made sure i was involved in the ceremony, be it little things like givng "telur" to the guests to something important like being 'banker' aka standing behind the host with a big bag (usually full of money the guest gives...hehe)

these are the "education", that i as his mother, must ensure i teach him well..

im starting small, im making sure he salams everybody he meets, and alhamdulillah im happy at this age he is brave enough to come up to a stranger and do so (sometimes overdoing it by flykissing haha)

and also ive asked him to pick up his baju kotor and throw it in the laundry bin just before we head to the toilet for his shower

at the same time, i pamper him, but not to the extent that i spoil him. i tell him to always share wht he has, even before he has a sibling (omg 2 children?!!! that is another matter pls!)

to be honest sometimes i feel raising a son is all about studying and tackling human behavior and thank god for that psychology paper i took last time..(it helped me feel less crazy to be honest)




anyways, as i still have no answer to the q,
i believe leading by example is my answer.
my parents raised me to always look at the bright side, that life goes on no matter what, to respect the elderly, to find happiness, to love. to forgive.

and that is wht i will continue in raising bb ashraff, for as long as Allah allows me to,
insyallah

my 30Days-SpendingDiet

i didnt dare blog on this newLy invented diet i am on .
probably because ive never stayed true to any such diet in my life..hahaha

this is by far the longest diet ive been on
(and mind you i am planning continue so, for reasons i will reveal later in my life)

to be honest i couldnt believe i went this long, and suprisingly, i am looking forward to continue on till its 12 months to celebrate and look back

before i confuse anyone, spendingDiet is to only spend on NEED toBuy things and a no-no to NICE to buy things.

my financial management is a mess and often i buy things on an impulse/a sign and all other bullshit reasons just to satisfy tht short itch to poses a thing/clothing etc.

i dont think ive ever heard anyone buy a handPhone/become a member of a holidayPackage/handbags in less than 5minutes from the meeting point,
and these are only the many few things that i am guilty of.

i am not in debt or worst "muflis".
like ive said, this diet is for a reason, a bigReason and hopefully it will pay off when the time comes.

until then , at my 30days of this spendingDiet, let me share with you wht ive learned:

Lesson Learnt during my 30-Day Spending Diet :

(i) reading receipts teaches you to compare prices and best, know when the price has gone up or down

(ii) since im not reading any fashionMegazines nor subscribing to any online shops , i spent most times rearranging my closet and found a number of outfit tht ive bought, but have never worn. tsk tsk tsk! (this includes hbags too!), the guilt somehow suppress me to spend unnecessarily.

(iii) the constant "do i need this?" every time the temptation arises does work. there were a number of times it made me stop to think (and not stop to look into my wallet for money)

(iv) this diet is some how (somehow eh) helping me loose some weight..( " ,)

(v) the power of saying no is beautiful. its powerful and rewarding at the same time.


"did you say SALE? sorry but mama is in a hideOut. see you next year k. now go! "

bila bb ash berposing part deux

mama says i have an addiction to her her green bantal busyuk
just like her...
and im like "mana ada...?!!!"

im cool ok, tak main la bantal bantal busuk ni...

(btw,i dress like awal ashaari here kan?! well minus the baby chair of course)

ok.
so sometimes when i want to sleep, i ask for it..

clear and loudly i will shout "Busyuk! Busyuk! and ma gives it to me before i go into my tantrum fit..(which involves throwing just about anything i could grab to her..i knw, tsk tsk tsk!)

of course i will return the order with my sweetest smile (kan mama?!)


oh btw, my bieberStyle is back, ehem..

ok, ok, i admit as well that after rummaging thru my bakul of toys, nothing beats the smell of my own sweat with busyuk..it makes me sleep better..


ok la ma, i do need it with me when i watch toyStory3 for the 542nd time
(ala, is mama right ke ni?)


wait a sec, grandma says im not addicted to it
(but then again, she has one of her own too!..silk lagi pls!!)


oh no! could it be, im a busyuk-Holic?!!

help me ma, im addicted to it ma...please help me...

my future is at stake here ma, and ure laughing it away?!!! i need therapy


good thing i have sofeya and erica to show me the path, they have both enrolled in the "growUp and throw that bantal away" seminar..i attended their graduation day...
(im only sober because the stool is keeping me sane)


good to be smellin ya, busyuk..ok go away ma, im not sharing pls..
(haha)

abah, now its my turn..

if anyone were to ask how abah was when i was growing up, id say, garang as hell.
just a look, a stare and it can make me (particularly) freeze from doing whtEver the hell i was doing (obviously wrong la kan haha)

but one thing i always like to remember during those years, was being able to hold abah's hand whenever i feel like it.

he use to rub it at his newly shaved chin, and it will tickle me and make me laugh all the time...


during my teenage years, i was too buzy being like any normal teenage aka gaduh tak sudah with mama, and abah was still that authority figure that always says no to whatever teenage activity i plan to join..even before i xplain the detail of it.

one particular thing i remember was the day i was taking my SPM result, he called from his office and said "no matter wht the result is, please come back home first".

i did well in SPM by the way, but i love the fact that ive got parents who are smart enough to ensure home is safe is anything wrong were to happen.


i joined the government for one reason only..(okay two):

(i) to fulfill my patriotic/national responsibility; and

(ii) to continue the legacy of having a government servant in the family

(iii)well of course the money..lalalala

and now tht it has been 8years after taking this decision, im still proud i took (or rather my abah pushed me into joining..hehehe) the decision to do so..

abah still was abah even through my first few years of my working life...even when i moved out to bangi, he would still give me a call everynow and then, some headlines in the news has something to do with young ladies being raped/beaten/missing...i will get a lecture on coming home early, knowing whom im mixing with, etc etc etc...

and to be honest, now that the responsibility has passed to my hubbs, i cant believe i miss those times..
(yes those annoying times..haha)


im glad that us having ashraff and the decision to move back to buloh...he can teach our bb ash all the tricks and discipline he's had to be where he is now (and of course the constant 'silent' argument on which football tops the list (yes yes, liverpool vs manchaster U...buerrrkk haha)


and now it has come to this.
so abah, its my turn to take care of you.

our turn.

bila bb ash berposing

pose bersantai


i like to pose everywhere, termasuk dekat my new fav place, the tingkap.

and i also like my photo taken while in action (with ultramans)


this is just the beginning of my picture profile...more to come.

5mins post

its been a long day/hour / week. month..
long of everything.
work is getting psiko and psiko-er by the hour (refuse to say by day, because that is just wht it is)

all of this for the good of the nation, am i working my butt/head/energy off for the october event...and guess wht, this is since December 2009 so excuse me for feeling lousy...and mabuk nak muntah about it..

this is the so called 11th hour, the final countdown, this is it...

and i have is just to stay focus and aim at settling as many things as possible on a daily/nightly/hourly basis.

my sugarLevel has gone out the roof, down with flu/irritating batuk and possible fever and raya celebration is just around the corner and it hasnt sunked into me yet.
(hell i hvnt seen my baju raya even and my raya breaks starts this thurs! uurgghh)

honestly, my celebration will only start 16th October 2010.

honest!

(better save a bju raya for tht particular day..haha)

i *heart my Jbengs

bb ash : mama, wht is Jbengs?

mama : Jbengs is a geng that consist abang ehsan, kakak erica and yourself..


bb ash : oh !wht does a Jbengs do ma?

mama : Jbengs lepak with mama, sing songs like rowRow your boat, and sometimes have
drawing time as well as occasional korek hidung moment


bb ash : mama do you love kakak erica more than me?

mama: i love all my Jbengs the same, promise


bb ash : you sure?

mama : of course darling

bb ash : ok. will still try to grab all her toys, hit her if she gets near you till one of us cries..
usual stuff.. ( " ,)

btw, im 20 weeks da ma, your suppose to teach me how potty...

mama : AMBOIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!

bb ash : hehe, rilek aah ma..nak susu!

bloggers block?

Writer's block is a condition, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work. The condition varies widely in intensity. It can be trivial, a temporary difficulty in dealing with the task at hand. At the other extreme, some "blocked" writers have been unable to work for years on end, and some have even abandoned their careers. It can manifest as the affected writer viewing their work as inferior or unsuitable, when in fact it could be the opposite.
_wikipedia

im afraid im having this.
the losing ability to blog something fabulous like i use to
(eh fabulous ke dulu? hahaha)


most blog writers have a theme, mine? ...entah.
i started blogging, to be honest when i got my heart broken
the sadness kinda was the drive for me to blog..(u can say bck then it was writing under the influence)


driving was always where ideas comes pouring out,



then i got sick of being sad
and so i toughen up and decided to find happiness
and so my blog became like self discovery of things..

hebat dulu,
siap ada poetry, rhyming,metaphor of life and all

and reading back, i still love it that i have no regret in all that has happen.

im at that stage where the past, is just that. the past.
and looking foward and positively ahead is the only way that is.

have i matured from the start of this blogging?

if determine to be happy and staying positive, no matter what the situation i am hooked in is maturity
then yes, probably i have.

if finally finding the one you know can build my confident, protect me, and above all love me and am willing to age together, then yes i probably have

and if by raising a son has taught me the one true meaning of love and the true meaning of sacrifice of a mother, then i say yes for the third time.


but in many ways i still havent matured.
when it comes to choc, i still have that lil kid greediness (tsk!tsk! tsk!)
same goes with shopping, i loose all control and principles of saving (aiyo)

matured or not, im still a good sweet gurl
(kan?!)
i try all that i can to save energy, i reuse paperBags
i donate to the needy as often as i can
i try my best to understand that the world ALLAH has made consist of people with colourful
characters
and that i have to just let these people live in their own understanding (or whtever it is)

and so am i (awwwhhh) bole?!


simply about me?
one thing (even i myself learn)
is by reading this crappy almost unstable (and worst at spelling an constructing good english)
is to know me, better

of what i am capable of doing
of not doing
of crying over
and of course
of what makes me stronger

i hope one day, way way way in the future,
whtever ive written here
will be valuable to someone important
to the extend a foundation is created in my name
from the money collected from selling this blog.....

or maybe a song is written
about me
lalala
(dah mula da merapu)

( " ,)
please dont be fooled by this pic, im not writng a song,
im merely strumming A cord, tu je ( " ,)


wait a minute, wht was i blogging about again?

singapore Baybee( " ,)

Ive been to singapore a couple of times when i was younger.
by saying this, somehow the only thing i remembered back then was those pezz candy with the dispenser

(remember pezz?alar tak tahu ke)

anyways, singapore was my first official trip in this service tht i am in. funny it was also an ASEAN meeting as well.

only difference is this time is, i brought hubbs and bb ash with me. (yyay!)

the docs and myself at 10pm..errrk! (tu bukan tangan i, altho similar, except gebu-er haha)



Packing for three can be b* (as ida rightfully say it haha)...but i managed to pack my stuff, hubbs stuff and bb ash's stuff all in two big luggage
(patting myself on the back)

the list went on of course, after putting 20 over diapers, another 20 wouldnt do any harm, kan. so as the milk, bottles, baju.. pretty much overpacked for bb ash.

it was of course first time bringing them to 'work' ..hehe


singapore isnt any different the hustling and bustling of KL, probably perhaps too many overHuge (and most of the times scary) stores and shopping departments along orchad road.

but malaysia is catching up (ello, im still scared to entre midvalley, sunwayPyramid and pavilion!)

my whole week in singapore, i manage to imagine myself living in this city, jst as i would in London. These type of modern/confused fusion cities tends to grow on me, and somehow its easier for me to adapt.


i only drank this the whole time , is this the pee water they've been talking about?
hahaha


but i must admit, finding yummy local halal food was abit of a b* too. i mean the fastfood were halal, but come on? hw long can a melayu tekak stand that?
hahaha
and when we do actually find halal local food, it was either too spicy, to bland or worst, am not sure wht it tasted.
so yeah, there are always thngs to miss back home. (i miss my hujan batu!!)

anyways, compared to my usual geneva meeting, this was a bit more relaxed (thankfully),
altho i must admit, it gets abit tired than usual especially when ure heading back to the room and your thnkng there are still things to do before finally turning in.

but apepun alhamdulilah and thankAllah for Rafek, particularly on adapting the idea that he was the babysitter for the week. I see him cleaning up the bottles, having a system on arranging them, etc..(melts te heart instantly hehehe)

tho most of the time they were stuck in the hotel because of the bad weather, when we finally had a day off, we used it to the max - we went up the singapore flyer


definitely didnt get the gayat-Less from me. i was basically standing near the chair, takut nak mati k nak tngok bawah.

bb ash making faces because he knows im about to puke.

then rafek had one of his dream come true : he went up the bunggeJumping-like ride. two to be exact, one that shoots you up the air, the other sways you like nobody's business. both bb ash and myself jst watch from below with much drama and noise...haha

(no pic, only video, sorry)

and the usual me, i went shopping. i thought of a Gucci, perhaps a burberry but to be honest, the prices is about the same if bought in malaysia (maybe the collection is better) and them ladies frendlier..haha (sorry)

and so i spotted an italian designer and bagged two (yes u heard me) two handbag.

don't qoute me (ever!!) but this is the last purchase of designer handbags!! (for the year of course..hahaha)


all in all we all had fun, a great getaway from home. its already the third day that we r back, and i still feel tired from it all.aishhh...
am still hoping october will end soon. (amin!)





now u remember the pez?hehehe


bb ash nak pez ke? ( " ,)

and look who's talking....

ello!
mama says she's too buzy to blog lately and only got time to update her fb status, cheh!

so to not disappoint anyone, she has instead asked me to post some activities of me for your viewing pleasure.


enjoy!

lotsaLove and tantrum,

bb ash


" mama, ice cream is not good for your calorieCount diet, so satu lick je ni k"

"ma, wht do u mean no more toys? you mean you dont like toys ?"


"ok ma, if u smell daki behind there, blame it on bibik "


" im not a monkey k, whts wit the cage..uurrggh"



"a warning could've been real helpful ma..iish !
busukkkk!"


"ayah sees this and your in big trouble "


"im ignoring u ma, cant u see the boss is resting"


"bosan aah xylophone...guitar ke, drums ke..baru rawk!!"


"wht's tht ma? ya yak?! xdelah, i dont think the lamp can yayak la ma"


"oh ini bukan swimming pool eh?"


" did you say ure going to clean the mess?!!"


" how do you expect us to grow up by just sharing one bowl of porridge and this puny chicken?!! kaka, call domino's"

"go away, taiko watching tv "

"ma, im really thnking hard about those chocs, not sure where it went...."


"is my turn next?!! "

"ma, does your twoCharacter bedTime story of cik nab and cik jah really exist?
are you actually saying that the gajah and the arnab actually naik bas and went to KLCC?
apakah?!!"


"honestly ma, do i look like i've eaten all your choc?!!"


" can i hear your heartbeat forever?!!"
( " ,)




okla gotto go, she's about to start her pointless, only 2charac bedtime stories...tzzz!
chow!